Two eminent Chinese American artists discussed how parental pressure, coupled with living in a different culture from the one their parents grew up informed their worldview, and even fuelled their sense of rebellion.
Cellist Yo-Yo Ma and novelist Amy Tan were speaking at last month's Sino-U.S. Cultural Forum, where they were joined by other celebrities from the US and China.
Both Tan and Ma admitted to having a rebellious streak growing up. However, Tan, with her admissions of drug-taking and temporary imprisonment outdid Ma's tales of occasional drunkenness.
Growing up in a world that was completely different to the one their parents knew, it was perhaps inevitable that Tan and Ma would challenge their parents' often harsh authority.
When discussing their immigrant parents, Tan, in particular, had many stories about her mother. Orville Schell, chairman of the forum and the Arthur Ross Director of the Center on U.S.-China Relations at the Asia Society in New York, recalled that Tan's mother lived with the expectation that her children would have all the advantages of living in America, coupled with Chinese character and discipline.
Tan remembered her mother's stern side. "She was very Chinese in her attitude to everything, especially things she considered dangerous," said Tan, author of New York Times bestsellers including, "The Joy Luck Club", "The Kitchen God's Wife" and "The Hundred Secret Senses. " Tan recalled growing up with her mother's endless threats and warnings ringing in her ears, especially where boys were concerned. "She'd say, 'Don't kiss a boy, otherwise it could lead to pregnancy, and then a baby, which you'd have to put in the garbage,'" said Tan. The chilling warning ended with the predication that Tan would probably end up killing herself as a consequence of kissing a boy at such a young age.
In addition to the warnings, there were threats of varying levels. When her mother would say, "I'll go back to China if you don't listen to me," Tan sometimes thought it wouldn't be such a bad thing. However, when her mother switched to, "Why didn't you listen to me? I may as well be dead," Tan knew she was furious.
Tan also recalled being taken to a girl's funeral by her mother. "She told me, 'That's what will happen to you if you're disobedient,'" said Tan. She also remembered a funny conversation, during which her startled mother said,"How could you think that, I haven't put it in your head yet!"
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他們生活在異國他鄉(xiāng),成長環(huán)境與父母全然不同,還面對著來自父母的壓力。他們的世界觀是如何形成的?他們叛逆的性情又怎樣被點燃?兩位著名的美籍華裔文化人對此展開了探討。
大提琴家馬友友和小說家譚恩美與眾多中美名人一起參加了上月舉行的中美文化論壇。
譚恩美和馬友友都承認,他們的成長歷程中都留有叛逆的痕跡。不過,相比起馬友友時不時的叮嚀大醉,譚恩美磕藥和坐牢的故事則更勝一籌。
譚恩美和馬友友成長的環(huán)境與父輩完全不同,因此也無可避免地挑戰(zhàn)著他們父母嚴酷的權威。
在談到父輩那代移民時,譚恩美特別例舉了她媽媽的眾多軼事。本次論壇的主席、亞洲協(xié)會美中關系中心(紐約)的阿瑟?羅斯主任夏偉回憶道, 譚恩美的母親期望她的孩子能享有生活在美國的優(yōu)勢,同時兼具中國人的品質和性格。
譚恩美回憶起媽媽嚴厲的一面,說道:“從她對所有事物的態(tài)度來看,她就是個中國人,尤其是在面對她覺得危險的事物時?!弊T恩美憑借著作品如《喜福會》、《灶神娘娘》、《靈感女孩》等多次被《紐約時報》評為暢銷小說家。譚恩美回憶道,她的成長伴隨著母親不絕于耳的威脅與警告,尤其是涉及到跟男孩子打交道的時候?!八龝f,‘別和男孩接吻,否則就會導致你懷孕,然后你就會有了小孩,還不得不把他(她)扔到垃圾桶里,”譚恩美說道。最終,這個令人不寒而栗的警告以譚恩美很可能自絕生命的預言作為結局,因為她在青澀年華時親吻了一位少年。
除警告外,譚恩美的母親還有各式各樣、不同級別的威脅。當她媽媽說:“如果你再不聽我的,我就要回中國了?!庇袝r候,譚恩美想這未嘗不是件好事。然而,當她母親轉而說道:“你為什么不聽我的?我還不如死了算了。”譚恩美知道那個時侯的她已經(jīng)非常憤怒了。
譚恩美回憶起她母親帶她去參加一個女孩的葬禮,“她告訴我,如果你不聽話就會變成這樣?!彼€記起了一個非常有趣的對話,其間,她母親表現(xiàn)得頗為驚訝,既而說道:“你怎么能這么想呢?我還沒把這些想法灌輸?shù)侥愕哪X袋里呢!”
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