As wedding bells ring, pockets empty out
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Xinhua, January 4, 2012
Li Wanfei, 27, stuffs a red envelope with cash as a gift to her friend who is getting married during the New Year holiday.
Nowadays in China, wedding presents are a thing of the past -- the trend is cash, and there's pressure to put the right amount in the red envelopes.
"I would feel ashamed to give less than average, especially for my close friends," Li said. "The sum represents our friendship and intimacy."
Despite being on a tight budget, Li and her husband refuse to be stingy. They gave at least 15,000 yuan (2,377 U.S. dollars) as wedding gifts in 2011.
Li usually gives 200 or 300 yuan for colleagues, 500 for ordinary friends, and 1,000 or more for close friends. Her husband even gave his cousin 10,000 yuan, hoping to convey the deep love he has for his cousin.
Lavish wedding ceremonies have become increasingly popular as China's economy has grown, and the more lavish the wedding, the more money the bride and groom can expect to receive as gifts.
Wedding invitations tend to come more often during the holidays, as the days off make it convenient for relatives and friends to attend.
Hu Xunzhi, a 26-year-old bachelor working in construction in Beijing, will attend three wedding ceremonies during the New Year season, and he had already attended two during National Day holiday in 2011.
"For invitations coming from not-so-familiar colleagues, gift money is a headache," Hu said.
Two decades ago, people didn't have such dilemmas. They gave presents instead of money.
Ge Guimin, 55, got married in 1986 in Beijing. She and her husband held a simple ceremony with about 30 people, and they received a small sum of money and some presents, such as bedclothes and decorations.
"I think people are so picky nowadays, so presents may not be useful," Ge said. "People used to give cash gifts to show their good wishes despite giving relatively less money. But now it seems that you offer a lesser blessing if you give little."
According to Liu Ning, manager of Forever Love Wedding Service Agency, money spent on weddings has grown among young people, and as they see it as a once-in-a-lifetime experience, they want a lavish ceremony.
"That's why the couple expects more gift money and takes the sum as a standard for judging friendship," Liu said.
Liu said that middle-class people usually spend around 25,000 yuan on a wedding plan and video, but that price doesn't include food and flowers.
Liu Qingzhu, an academician with the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, said ceremonies have become much more lavish as the practice of cash gifts has become more prevalent, and some couples even try to turn a profit.
"People sometimes face a dilemma about weddings," Liu said. "They feel happy for the couple, but giving money hurts. Money worship is not a good tradition and shouldn't be praised."
Liu said although the increasing sums of money given at weddings relates to the country's economic growth, in many other developing countries, weddings aren't as extravagant and people usually don't receive cash gifts.
Peter Jackson, 42, a German man who works as a tutor in Beijing, has been invited to four weddings during his one-year stay in China.
He sometimes feels curious about how much to give at weddings, as it is not a custom in his hometown.
"We don't give money. [We] usually give presents at weddings, but it's not seen as a must," Jackson said. "Weddings in Europe are at churches, and the ceremonies aren't as big as here."
Chinese couples could think of new models for weddings instead of comparing venues or gift money, for extravagance and waste are not good customs, Liu added.
